Change Sucks

As a people we cry out for change, especially when it involves things we don't like.  I want things to change, you want things to change, the country wants to change.  However, when it comes time for action, I cave, you cave, we all cave.  Change is a commitment and commitment is fricking HARD!  Just sitting down to write this is a little bit annoying.  There is a lot going on in my life, some hard some easy, and I know I am not alone in that place.  People all around me are moving and shifting in their lives, trying to figure out where they fit and where they don't.  I am writing this stuff down because for me it is a type of commitment.  Its harder to just give when I know others may be watching, reading, or just waiting to see what I am up to.  Mostly, I don't want anyone to think they are alone in their struggles.  Revealing my stuff might make yours a little easier to handle today.




Today the weight loss challenge is daunting for me, as I know it is for many of you.  I have to change A LOT of things in order to succeed.  I have to look at myself  FOR REAL and accept that this is not acceptable.  Heck, I could potentially live for 40 more years and this is the only chassis (body) I have.  So, am I going to be cruising in style or limping along in a dented up tin can with bad wheels?  The first weigh in went really well, I was 10 pounds down.  That's great and all, but I knew that one would be easy.  This week, not so much.  Change is hard, remember!  From the time I get up in the morning until the time I go to bed, I have to change the way I do everything!  I didn't even know I had a routine until I had to change it!  I am feeling a little confined, a little deprived, and a little foolish.  Did I mention that CHANGE SUCKS!


This afternoon I will be loading the garbage trailer for a trip to the dump and my Envoy for another trip to the Montana Rescue Mission.  It gets a bit easier as I see the progress but it is also still pretty hard.  I have to change the way I look at "things" and feel about "things". The reality is that letting go needs to mean forever, not just re-stacking it all somewhere else.  I guess I don't just want me to be lighter, I want my life to be lighter also.  I want to move through life with a little more freedom and I know in my heart this is how I am going to get there. 


Today I am thankful for all the blessing I have received and the new reality, that none of this stuff defines me.  I don't have to have what you have, be what society says I should be, or live how or where others live.  I just need to be the best person I can be, and that's enough.


Rock on Ladies





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